I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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