I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize