It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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