There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize