I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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