Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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