To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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