Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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