Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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