drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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