She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
