Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
