you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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