I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
