who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
