I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
