i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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