butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
