I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
