I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
