and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
