they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
