Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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