so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
