And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
