I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's never too late to be topless.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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