Have you finally orgasmed yet?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
