porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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