it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
