don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize