I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
