Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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