I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
