good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
