i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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