Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
