Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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