wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
