we're chasing vodka with high fives
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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