no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
