Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
