i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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