the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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