And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
