dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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