it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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