so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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