im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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