You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
