awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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