Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
