Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
