i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't turn off my feet"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
