Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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