there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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