That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
