I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
