i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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