I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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