who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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