capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
