called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
