my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm at about main and main street
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
