my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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