yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
