Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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