Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
