I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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