Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
