she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize