SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you made out with another girl for some wings
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
