my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
this hospital has no fireball
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
