You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize